My Worst Fear

Today took half a days leave for my follow aapt with the specialist at SNEC to further advise me on my eye condition n more details on the surgery that will assist me.
The good news is .. yes my eyes can b cured with surgery.. but after the consultation yst.. I was a bit demoralized..
Tests were done on my eyes to establish the width n more details on my condition..
Conclusion:
"The width between my eyes on one focal point is quite great.. normally the patients she c was abt 60max.. but mine is 87.. which is quite bad.. but since this is the first measurement taken.. they would like to observe me further in hope that with glasses on the width can be narrow down.."
I asked if there was any eye exercise that I can do to improve my condition with the help of my glasses.. at first the doc say yes.. but then she also commented that for my case as the diff is too great the exercise will not make a difference *depressed*
She also said that due to the fact that my eyesight iis quite good n that my right eye is perfect that makes it even tougher to operate on as realigning the eyeball might cause double vision n if the brain cant get use to focusing both eyes on one pt after op.. my eyes will go back to sq 1 *demoralized*
The doc continued to elaborate on the risk of the op which include the possibility of infection as in all ops.. Bursting of blood vessel which may lead to blindness.. possible double vision for my case.. snapping of eye muscle which may cause eye ball to snap in a reverse direction causing blindness although most conditions are rare n the last one has nv occurred before but technically possible to happen *scared*
I really dunno whether I shd go ahead at all cos I will need to operate on both eyes.. n the risks are so…*shivers*
Think now all I can do is wait for my second measurement to b taken n hopefully within these 2 mths.. my glasses will do my eyes gd… *Praying that all well ends well…*
After my consultation went back home to rest.. slept till 0630 then deardear wake me up to have dinner at Ikea.. Had chicken chop rice n the all-time favorite chicken wing *finger licking gd* n the main objective of going Ikea.. Coffee for my deardear..
Have been craving for gd coffee for quite a while.. Thinking of a lounging session.. Anybody wanna join us??

Dayz of my life

Its been a while since I last updated my bloggie *yawnz*
Guess my work has really started to take it toll on me.. Have been too tired n lazy to updated..
Basically nothing much happen jus some events to make me c others clearer n also to learn to not b so helpful to others..
Before some ungrateful ingrates come bad mouthing u n reprimanding u of been kaypoh or worse taking ur kind words n advice for criticism or accusation.
Long story don wish to elaborate on it.. cos don c the point.. Wasting any further time on such ppl.. But I do realize that there r becoming more n more ppl who only knows how to commend on others boasting n unrealistic thinking n childish action but does not realize n admit that they r also repeating wat the others is doing n even if they do they nv realize it cos they have the mentality that they r always rite!
For me I am fast at admitting my faults n am not afraid to admit my mistakes but for others to comment or say untrue words abt me.. I dare them to put their case in for all to judge..
But whatever it is it doesn't pay to b kind to such ppl.. Such ppl only remember others bad n nv others gd.. but themshelves? They will forever b the rite one.. or so they presume! Shame on them!
If those ppl r really that capable then don ever ask for any favors or advice!
Ok.. paiseh.. think I got carried away..
Last Fri met deardear at Great World City to catch "Charlie n the chocolate Factory"
Fruity goodness.. cooling.. delicious n absolutely colourful to look at!
The movie was nice at least to me but I think not everyone will appreciate the show lor.. I had read the book since I was in pri sch n the story had left a big impression in my heart.. but of the the movie was much more exaggerating..
All the chocolate scene.. chocolate waterfall.. chocolate river.. lollipops.. candies.. chewing gums.. oh n of cos a bunch of ridiculous kids n their horrible parents.. Much can b learn from the movies too.. think it will make a gd family show
Fruity goodness.. cooling.. delicious n absolutely colourful to look at!
The movie was nice at least to me but I think not everyone will appreciate the show lor.. I had read the book since I was in pri sch n the story had left a big impression in my heart.. but of the the movie was much more exaggerating..
All the chocolate scene.. chocolate waterfall.. chocolate river.. lollipops.. candies.. chewing gums.. oh n of cos a bunch of ridiculous kids n their horrible parents.. Much can b learn from the movies too.. think it will make a gd family show!
Sat went shopping with deardear at orchard.. got a top from mango.. n finally got the Alex To's collection cd.. also got the new released "Initial D" collection VCDs.. n comes with 4 magnets ^_^
Sun was prayer day.. got my stupid cousin stand us up.. every yr sms say 11am.. me n deardear all the way go down no one there then when da jie call him he say we nv reply so he tot we not coming! watr the F***! every yr also like that.. where got reply one! irritating! then my poor da jie kana my er jie temper again then that stupid cousin of mine still dare to raise his voice at da jie.. really idiotic!
Waited till 1pm then got some confusion.. so frustrated! Then we heck it lah.. Jus pray n go meet gu gu n my dear cousins for lunch at Bedok interchange.. Had Kuey Chap n the famous n delicious ice jelly *yum yum*
after that went to get my specs made.. got a rimless one.. hope to get it soon.. After that went back to my place n lump *so nice to b back to my own house*
Ordered Canadian pizza n shared with da jie who's alone at home cos jie fu working..
Went back to deardear's place ard 1030pm.. Packed my stuff n off to bed *snorezzzz*

Up.. Down.. All around

Its been a terrible 2 days at work since Mon have been bz bz bz.. left office only ard 0645 yst.. So tired.. There was jus too many things to do..

Today is no difference.. My boss overlooked on his trip n I have to rebook his tickets for him but the thing is that was the only flight available today so looked ard desperately for a flight as he has to go by today cos he has a meeting with a client.

Finally got a flight for him ard 10 for departing SG ard 1250 but as it involves a connecting flight so no choice gotta travel personally down to pick up from the agency.. was half way there when the sky started to pour heavily.. Got a little wet even though I took a cab but upon reaching my office after collecting the tickets *ard 1035*.. my boss told me that he did not notice the return schedule n wanted me to change again.. n again it involves a domestic flight.. ask him go buy himself when he reach there but his reply was:
"u mean I have to get my own tickets there?" *smacks head*

so in the end no choice lah.. he say till like that.. so I made a second trip *ard 1055* in that rain to agency again to pick up the tickets again.. was rushing like hell oredi cos my boss flight leaves at 1250 n I have to b back latest by 1130.. finally reached ard 1120 back to my office n pass the tickets to my boss *whew!*

Back on my desk need to do permit again.. so went to do it only to find all the necessary info missing *ARGH!!* this male colleague of mine always like that!!!

What a day today.. later deardear in the mood to come out walk was planning to watch "Charlie n the chocolate factory" but not available near us so decided to go Tiong Bahru Plaza for dinner at Sakae sushi.. But didn't really eat much but deardear was enjoying himself.. After that walked ard Tiong Bahru Plaza n got the Korean drama "Stairways to heaven" VCD *he he he*
Got some snacks from Shilin Xiao shi.. "XXL chicken chop" n was wanting the to get the "or wah mee suan" for myself but all sold out... haizzz...

Tml Deardear will b going for his physiotherapy again *he can bend his leg 90 deg liao*

That time went for therapy the therapist say if still cannot bend his knee then will bend for him forcefully so hopefully will get some good news from the therapist tml..

*praying sincerely*

In the mood for food..

Yst when ma ma hse make kueh kueh *so fun* had made some "ondeh ondeh" n "kueh dardar" but i forgot to take pic of my beautiful kueh *smacks head*
Anyway had a great time making kueh kueh with yi yi then at nite had a feast *as usual*
Yiy yi made a good pot of "braised chicken with mushrooms" n then there was a good pot of "ABC soup".. mixed vegetable.. stir fried French beans etc
n to top up everything we had dessert "sweet potato soup with longans" n also some rock melon.. apples n oranges..
*deardear ate a good 3 bowls of rice**yum yum*
Had a very long n nice chat with my yi yi.. while deardear n jie fu watch the first episode of "the return of the condor heros" on tv.. good to have someone to keep him company.. ke ke
Haeded back ard 1130..
This morning wake up late afternoon.. was suppose to go do some grocery shopping but then it started to rain so instead stay in to bake some cup cakes
It turn out ok.. taste ok *at least edible.. ha ha ha*
Today so bored nothing nice on TV to watch.. All national day rally telecast so gd time for me to watch some VCDs.. Had watched "Harry Potter n the Prisoner of Azkaban"
Tml is mon again.. haizz.. weekends always end so fast.. Jus hope that it will b a shun shun li li wk *pray*

~ My Home- made CupCakes~

Searching

Yst was suppose to meet Jeanie to go shopping but my proj manger will b going overseas again which mean lots of pending invs to clear so he can bring them over to the client *bz.. bz*
Anyway today suppose to go searching for my glasses.. but instead got huimei, odie n roy to come out for dinner so in the end went to suntec looking for my glasses followed by dinner at outback at Millenia walk..
Luckily it was not too pack.. walked ard at candy empire *oops* but in the end drag huimei out before we lost control *ha ha ha*
Anyway dinner at Outback was good.. we ordered "Bloomin Onions" n "Cheese Fries" to share while odie n roy had "Beef Skewers".. Huimei had "Alice Chicken" while i had "BBQ Chicken Quarters".. had wanted to go into details of the food but guess better not *its that mth.. u know.. hungry*
ok.. its all crap.. ha ha ha.. Did some catching up n was enjoying my nite.. After dinner Odie n Roy left first while me n Huimei decided to walk ard Marina Sq even though all close oredi but good time to really look at wat they have there *spotted some good stuff.. ke ke* but still can't find a frame i like.. so more searching to b done.. Hmmzz.. where next??
Oops.. Gotta go liao.. Its Sat n i gotta go ma ma's place early cos today making kueh kueh with yi yi.. making "Odeh Odeh" n "Kueh Dadar".. more updates again..
*Hugz n Kisses*

Overjoyed

Today took half day leave as i have got an appt at SNEC.. Have finally gathered enough courage to get some professional advice.. many thanks to Simon for escorting deardear to SNEC n also thanks to deardear for coming n waiting hrs for me while i have my eyes checked *Hugz n Kisses*
Bascically it was a fruitful trip.. After rounds of general tests, the nurses started to put eyedrops to dilate my pupils.. That cos my vision to be blurred n also super sensitive to light *could hardly open my eyes*
After a few rounds of eyedrops.. I was ready to c the consultant for a more intensive test n analysis.. After looking thru the general tests results n her analysis.. *gitters*
Conclusion:
" Basically, you condition is known as "squint" also known as slanted eyes other then that you have normal eyes.. So if you want to have it treated we can suggest surgery.. n u need to get a priscription for glasses which will b beneficial to ur condition.."
I'm so happy to hear that!!! Finally i'm seeing some light to my eye condition *overjoyed*
thats wat i have been looking forward to for the past 20yrs *since i get laughed at n teased at* someone to tell me that there is a cure to my eye condition.. that i don have to b so ashamed abt my eyes.. that i don have to feel so inferior in public.. i don have to b look at as though i'm a freak.. that i'm abnormal.. that i'm some how handicapped!!
I have a follow up this 30th to meet a specialist in this area to discuss the op etc etc.. Really can't wait to c the doc n also hopefully i will get more good news.. hope its gonna b a simple op n hope it will not cost too much *pray*
So for now.. i can only wait n pray n also go get my glassess..
But don worry.. i will post my pic with glasses on so my friends can still recognise me on the streets.. Ha Ha Ha!!
*praying n hoping for blessings*

Busy Busy Busy

Whew! Wat a start to the beginning of a new week! Have been so bz for the past 2 days.. So many permits to do.. Lots of invoice to book n even more files to open..

Have been trying to upload the pictures I took at on Sunday.. But the lappy is r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w *ha ha ha *

Btw today is also Weiliang birthday *Happy Birthday lao da!*

Today Deardear also went back for his follow up with the doc n also some physiotherapy.. He have started to do some exercise with weights but the therapist said that although his condition is not bad but neither is it gd cos he still cant bend his knees very well.. So he have to b a bit more aggressive with his training up of his leg muscles n strength.. He also went to have an x-ray done to c if his bone is joining back well n more good news.. His bones r joining back well.. Wound is recovering well and the doc have mentioned that he may b able to walk without the clutches soon *dated at 13th Sept* *pray*

Thats faster then the expected 2-3mths *so happy* but the doc also mention abt his kness not bending much *dear, must really work on that*

But other then the knee all is gd n fine.. he will b back for another round of physiotherapy next wed n the next follow up is 13th Sept *god bless that deardear is fully recovered by then*

*hmmzz* Wat to do on Fri? Shopping? Dinner? Lounging? Movies? Anybody?

Fireworks!!

Yst met up with Jackson n Weiliang for a little birthday celebration for Weiliang (16th Aug).. was planning to buy him a shirt but after walking the whole suntec city he still canrt find something he like *haizz*
I did my shopping too *ke.. ke* but there was jus too much ppl queuing to try out clothes but I have oredi make a list of wat I want.. ha ha ha.. New black slip ons from Mphosis, New beach shorts n bermudas at Fox.. 2 tops from Mango.. White Heels at Charles n Keith.. Crop pants n leeveless top at Dorothy Perkins n the list jus goes on.. think I still need to find a nice white dress for my sisters wedding in Jan then another black one for night n shoes to go with it.. maybe that LV clutch bag to match everything.. *shopping anybody??*
Anyway in the end the only person who actually brought something was Jackson, he got his cargo pants from Bossini at jus $29 (U.P $49) In the end that Weiliang still cant find anything he likes so me n Jackson decided to treat him dinner at Kuishin-bo instead.. Been some time since I ate there.. Lucky we were earlier cos after that no more seats liao.. We had a feast of Ebi Tempura, Fried Ebi, Soft shell crab, Fresh salmon, grill black pepper lobster, Karage, Yakitori and of cos my favorite deserts.! Chocolate éclairs, fruit tarts, cream puffs.. black forest cake, mango pudding, chocolate moose .. *Pics to b uploaded soon..*

After that rush down to marina to catch the beautiful Fireworks which is also the last day of the fireworks show case for the national day carnival.. didn’t get a good view of the display at lower heights but those high ones in the sky.. I capture most of them..

It was beautiful n watching it with my dear friends it definitely a diff experience…

After watching the display.. we headed down to the Esplanade to ctach some night view of Singapore.. been some time since I went there to enjoy the breeze n scene.. its beautiful.. took some pics of the Fullerton hotel too..
Left ard 1045 cos we all gotta work today.. the taxi queue was too long at the Esplanade so walked to Raffles City shopping centre instead.. The queue was not too long but no cabs seems to b coming in.. As if it was not frustrating enough.. After 20mins of waiting at the taxi stand.. I was finally next in queue n guess wat happen?! There was a Caucasian man n his family (wife n a 4-6 yr old boy) queuing behind me… It was past 1100 n I was getting impatient when a cab drove in to drop of a passenger n this Caucasian man walk up to him exchange some words n the driver picked them up totally ignoring the fact that it was a taxi stand n that there r ppl queuing *blood boiling*
Afterthat the driver drove up to the front of the queue n said that the Caucasian family was tourists n that they were lost! Wat the F***! Even if its that case the driver shd have consulted us n ask us at the very least! But all he did was to jus tell us like that.. don he know that they r expats living in SG?! N the most angry thing was that that Caucasian family were obviously expats living in SG else why would they know that they need to queue at a taxi stand? N the thing I noticed was that the whole family was not carrying any bags which ii believed that any tourists or ppl traveling in a foreign country will know that they have to bring some form of identification in case rite? I definitely don think that they would dare to jus walk out at night wi/o any identification n with a kid!!! I was oredi fuming as i find it totally infuriating! I appreciate the drivers kindness but I think he handled this problem wrongly n sad n sorry to said I have lodge a complaint against this driver this very morning!
Blue Comfort Taxi No.: 4279L

Ups and Downs

Friday - Finally its Friday! I have been planning for my deardear to get out of the house to get some fresh air cos he jus had his stitches remove.. Initial plan was to meet Jeanie, Doris and Kit for dinner then followed by KTV after going thru the hassle to find a good poace to go we settled for dinner at Fish & co. but kit says he had duty n doris say she need to bring her daughter for classes so join us later for KTV instead.. We all had fish n chips which was quite good n filling *slurp* after that headed to Kbox at Suntec n was starting to get a bit impatient with waiting my Kit and Doris.. Checked my phone n found out that Doris will not b able to make it cos her daughters classes was extended then Jeanie called Kit and that boy says he too tired to come over after duty..
*GREAT!!!* Kena put aero plane but them n there is only me, Jeanie n deardear left so awkward.. Worst still we had book a room for 4 pax n we cant decrease the amt of ppl but we can increase whih means 3 of us gotta pay for 4 pax *blood boils*
Wat was suppose to b an enjoyable nite out for my deardear became like that.. In the end luckily serene n her friends joined us later thus no need incurred the extra costs.. Luckily her friends were ok ppl so not too bad having them ard.. At least something gd lah.. more ppl more fun.. more lively *but still a bit upset*
Left ard 1pm cos deardear also tired liao.. Overall quite fun having serene n her friends joining us.. Dinner was nice too.. But the feeling of been put aero plane… I don wish to elaborate..
Thanx Jeanie, serene n friends for the great company!
Saturday – Today woke up late ard 1230 nuaing n too lazy to get up so nua in bed with deardear n also watch the repeat of Project Superstar on Channel U.. So nice to listen to Weilian sing.. Junyang was gd too n of cos the cutey Derrick *ke ke* So happy for Welian cos he got into the finals but also very sad that Derick is out of the competition liao *haizz*
Anyway was suppose to call Mac for brunch cos I too lazy to get my ass of the bed n since Mac now 24hrs n no min delivery so call lor but that stupid line take forever to get thru *urgh!!* So after 15mins of waiting I gave up got change n wash up n went down to the market to buy brunch for myself n deardear.. I ate Kueh Chay while deardear had veg rice.. Afterthat back to nuaing in bed n more TV.. Washed up ard 0630 to head down to my ma mas place for dinner n also let deardear ctach his final episode of Tian Long Ba Bu..
Today is also the first time since deardear had his op that I seen his wound.. He had wanted me to change the dressing of his wound after removing the stitches n also to observe if there was any blood or pus *lucky all is clean n dry*
On his knees there were 2 X stitches each about 1 inch long each while the one on his hips was ard 10-15cm long *scary* guess the surgeon didn’t do a very good job stitching up the wounds on his hips.. While the 2 X on his knees look neat n fine.. The stitches on the hips were rough n very wide apart n at the surgeon did not stitch properly at the end causing a diff in height of the opening *I can c the red flesh inside*
It so scary to c the wound so up close *goosebumps*
Anyway deardear is due to go back for follow uo this Tuesday.. Hopefully everything will b fine n gd *pray*
*God, Please bless my deardear with a speedy recovery n that he can faster walk without his clutches*

Blogger = Blogheads??

Of recent there have been many articles abt SG bloggers.. Of cos a few famous names was mentioned like Mr Brown.. Xiaxue.. SPG etc.. Personally I have no interest in blogs of strangers.. I usually take a peep into my friends blogs to find out how life being for them n to keep myself updated abt my friends.. N to b honest.. I have nv read the blogs of the above mention.. Although some of my friends have told me this who n whos blog is really happening with contents like oh I feel like making love to XXX.. his so HOT.. etc etc
Or some of my guy friends who tells me of blog contents n I tot they were talking abt porno sites *smacks head* but of cos I do admit there there r many normal bloggers in SG capable of writing some interesting stuff *without prejudice*
Many wonder why ppl write blogs.. Why ppl read blogs.. Before I start my own blog.. I admit that I was this kahpo fellow trying to peep into my friends life without them knowing.. N of cos there must b lots of ppl out there like me who jus want to find some gossips or interesting juicy news *grins*
Maybe due to the hurt inflicted by some of my old colleagues that subsequently cause me to react like this.. I canrt help but feel glad when things r jus not going smoothly for them *feels bad too* but thinking of all the horrible things they wrote abt me on their blogs *serve u rite! Retribution!*
At the same time I know that whoever is reading my blog may also b hoping that something bad will befall me n they will also b damm happy n glad when they read abt things that r jus not going smoothly *I believe in retributions too* but that humans.. We r not saints.. To forgive n forget is easy to say in words but how many out there can actually put these words into actions?
Back to the main point..
My first exposure to the blog world was from this friend of mine who had encountered some BGR problem n I as the always eager friend hoping to help n also my kahpo personality went on to dig n discover his exs blog.. Many commotions was going thru.. many truths n lies unfold.. many ugly words exchange *better then CH8 drama* n the more I read into it.. the more interesting it becomes.. Slowly n gradually I realize that blogging is a gd way to express myself.. to vent my anger.. express my happiness.. unhappiness.. my thoughts.. my feelings.. it slowly but surely had become a way of life.. it bridges ppl together in some n tears r/s up for others.. Of cos there r also ppl who makes use of their blogs hurt/ humiliate others *hate them*
In the current hectic life.. how often do u have the extra time to call ur friends to chat or meet up to update each other? In a way blogs allows me to write my everyday thoughts.. feelings n happenings.. so my friends can b in touch with wat Im doing n wats happening in my life..
I have included some extracts from an article from The NewPaper by Edwin Yeo.
This is one of the most interesting article I have read among all the buzz abt blogs n bloggers..
I must agree with some of the points in the articles.. maintaining a blog is really time consuming.. u have to spend loads of time in front of the PC.. u have to have lots of creativity & imagination to write "interesting" entries or create interesting stuffs to write abt n find means n ways to attract ppl to read their blogs *a round of applause*
Even if u don like wat they do or wat they post.. Its their own blog n they can don wat they want with it *so long as its legal.. I think..*
As for those who goes ard hacking n commenting n others entries *pls get a life* I feel that they r jus jealous that they r not getting as much attention *shame on u* or if any of those ppl r reading my entry.. heres a good recommendation which I hav not heard of anyone using to attract attention to their blog that is the post some –live videos- that will b interesting *hmmzz.. jus a recommendation.. no offence pls!*
Of cos credits must also be given to some real serious bloggers.. Impressing everyone with their words, expressions n remarks on things happening ard the world.. in SG n outside SG.. Things ppl choose to turn a blind eye on n taboos that no news reporters will talk abt or touch into *standing ovulation*
For those serious bloggers who is trying to find attention.. Continue blogging *perseverance is the key to success*
And for all my friends with blogs.. continue blogging.. cos I b reading them n I definitely don want to lost contacts with all of u *maybe I will pop by one day in front of u to say hi!*
Must keep me updated of where u eat.. where u go then can recommend me where to find good food n cheap drinks wat *I poor girl here.. ha ha.. wat u thinking! Me stalker?*
As for myself *he he he* jus another kahpo in this big blog sphere.. Not caring of who is reading my blog *so long as u don come in n mess it up*.. not caring abt how many ppl is reading my blog.. or thinking of whether I shd post some interesting pics for all to c or write some explicit stuff for others to read.. jus wanna share my happiness.. sadness.. joys n tears with whoever is reading it.. But any interesting gossips must inform me hor *ha ha ha*

P.S.: This entry is without prejudice to anyone living or dead.. So pls do not b offended if u don like wat I write..

Below r the extracts from The NewPaper by Edwin Yeo:

1. Bloggers have too much time on their hands
This is an unmistakable trait among regular bloggers. I know, because I tried to start a blog once and I could only manage to write three entries in a month. One would have to give up quite a bit to maintain a decent blog, and given my busy schedule (drinking beer IS work), I just couldn't find the time to maintain it.

2. Bloggers do not sleep
Given how nice and updated some of the blogs look and the time the entries are logged (usually when people are either sleeping or surfing porn), it is safe to assume that they do not sleep. Nor surf porn.

3. Bloggers are not alcoholics
Where do they even find the time to drink? Unless they drink at home, in which case, they are the worst kind of alcoholics.

4. Bloggers do not reproduce
At least, not in the normal way that human beings reproduce. They spend prime reproductive hours in front of their computers and, last I checked, you can't conceive having cyber sex.

5. The female of the species like being in the buff
This doesn't apply to all female bloggers, but of late, they seem to like getting naked. I'm not complaining, mind you, but isn't there some law against publishing pornography in squeaky-clean Singapore? Then again, topless entertainment isn't exactly a taboo here, is it?

6. Bloggers hate publicity but love attention
How many times have you heard a blogger rant about how they write for themselves and nobody else, and yet, they are happy if more people read their blogs?

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Its national day today! Not only is 9th of Aug a holiday.. its also a day full of memories for me..
Remembering the old sch days.. The celebrations we dread in sch.. The "stupid" songs like "Count on me Singapore", "One people One Nation One Singapore", "Stand up for Singapore" we have to sing.. Thinking back been singing all these songs for 12yrs in my life *6 pri yrs + 5 Sec yrs + Kindergarden too*
Every year when i watch the national day parade on TV *after sch days* i start to wonder.. Do i still know the singapore pledge? The national antem? ha ha ha.. start scratching head.. I can proudly say that i can still remember how to sing n recite n the best thing is i can still remember all those "stupid" songs.. Ha ha ha!
All those memories.. So silly.. so sweet.. so nice.. How time flies.. The past is really lovely.. beautiful memories...
Last yr deardear n myself went to marina to watch the fireworks.. it was spectecular.. breathetaking n wats more lovely then to have ur love one to enjoy this beautiful moment with u.. But this yr deardear will not b able to accompany me to watch it at marina cos he has broken his leg *its ok dear.. we can always watch it again next yr*
Instead my friends will b with me to watch it this sunday over dinner.. Life is not only abt boyfriends.. i have my beloved friends too! Can't wait for Sunday to come...

Nervous Breakdown

The past few days have been terrible…Due to the long weekend, my colleagues have all taken leave to return home n go on holidays leaving me alone with my boss *yes.. jus 2 of us*
Thus all the work has been thrown to us to clear n settle *lucky I got CS background* then can handle all the complains n whines of the clients.. having slog for the whole Fri.. Finally managed to finish everything n switch myself into weekend mood *thanks to Jeanie* for coming down to join me for dinner n hear me pour out all my grievances.. its nice having a friend u can confide in *thanx a million my qin ai de* Really enjoyed the food at Vilage.. The atmosphere n of cos the company.. Being some time since we seat down n chat After dinner, jeanie n I headed back to deardear place for some mahjong.. Won some $$ *paiseh jeanie* my luck was quite gd that day.. maybe like the chinese saying.. qin chang shi yi du chang de yi.. Bad at relationship good on the gambling table *ha ha ha*
Sat went over to ah mas place *although she has left us but have gotten used to saying ah ma place* as usual.. Wanted to bring deardear out to get some fresh air instead of coping up at home the whole day.. had steamboat.. Ice cream n desert was green bean sago soup with sweet potatoes *yum yum* being some time since I feast like that *ha ha ha* Can see deardear was having a good time too cos everyone was there all my sis n their respective bfs n my jie fu *someone to talk to deardear*
Sunday went to great world city cos I an errand to run *work related* dragged deardear along to get some sun *terrible mistake* dunno why its so packed that day n deardear really had much difficulty moving ard esp when I realized that there was no lift going from level 1 to the basement supermarket *poor deardear.. Sorry*
So without much choice n options.. I chomp chomp finish wat I needed to do n quickly whisk deardear out to proceed home *time ard 6pm* before that I ask if he as hungry as I tot that he could have something different other then the regular stuff from the market.. But he said he was not hungry… Finally reached home ard 0630 n I was getting a bit hungry so I started to munch on some chips till deardear gets hungry n then I can call for MacDonald but when deardear finally said he was hungry *n I tot can call mac liao* he said that it will quite pointless n ex to order ala carte cos most of the stuff in the set he cant eat *furious* in the first place an hr ago he say he wasn’t hungry n agree to order mac when he felt hungry.. then after an hr he said that order mac ala carte very ex n he said that he don mind charsiew n roasted pork rice *for goodness sake* do I have to run up n down every single hr??!!! Then he started throwing his tantrum saying things like I go buy the food myself.. I know I useless.. etc etc.. its simply nerve racking!! I myself is not feeling well.. coughing coughing like no tml.. n my period is cranky.. my PMS is driving me crazy n all the stress from work n wat he said is simply rubbing salt into the wound!!
Ok.. I admit that very harsh words may come out from me but I don mean any harm n he shd know better then anyone!
I had made the decision of staying over at his place so that I can take care of him n keep him company.. I know that he feels real bad that I have to "waste" my time taking care of him n lose all my social life *but im not complaining*
Wat is the use of me going out with my friends but all I have in mind is if u have eaten.. if u have taken medication.. if u had taken shower.. if u r doing weel at home or if u need something.. I don c the pt in going out with a mindset like this.. I cant change my mindset.. I cant stop worrying for u.. I never once mention that u r useless or say words like that but I may not b that sensitive to note that wat I said will sound hurtful to u *shuo ze wu xin.. ting ze you yi*
I know u r oredi trying ur best to do most things by urself but u cant stop others from worrying for u n needless to say me as ur gf.. but all u can think of is that my words hurt u n u don feel anything wrong in wat u say.. if all u wan is to make me feel guilty then fine u have succeeded! At the same time I hate myself! Hate myself for loving u so much.. Caring u so much.. Worrying for u so much.. taking care of u so much..
Maybe I shd hind some advice.. Im but ur gf not wife not fiance.. I need not do all this.. I don have to put myself thru all this.. I dunno..i wish I had a clue
I badly badly wanted to find some friends to go drinking.. like drink till I drop.. not to drown my sorrows *cos I have nv gotten drunk* but it’s a form of release for me.. A way where I can vent all my anger out.. but I don wanna do that.. I have tried so hard to get out of that pattern n I don wish to go back there.. ive being there n done it *its not healthy n bad for the body*
I can feel myself heading for a nervous breakdown *I need a break*
I need some fresh air.. I need some alone time to think n sort out my thoughts.. I need to get myself back.. The calm n poise n confident me.. This is not me.. Disoriented.. always in a daze.. no laughter.. no image.. no energy.. no words..
Yes.. Thats the me now!! N I hated it.. I want my old self back! The jovial, confident, poise, calm, happy go lucky, full of energy n laughter self!

Wat a day!

I’m so tired today n its only wed!!! Work was super hectic there few days quite a bit of work to do maybe also I very tired so seems like a lot of work *super tired*
Nowadays with my deardear injured at home.. I’ve being running lots of errands myself.. Which means less shopping time n less activity time.. No bowling.. No pinics.. No shopping.. No movies..
But its ok lah cos I counting down to the 10th when deardear will have his stitches remove.. hope that by then he will b in a better state to move ard slightly more *pray*
After work as usual I have to buy dinner for my deardear so when to take bus 197 back.. Waited for quite a long time before that stupid bus came but it was packed rite up to the door.. so after some squeezing *suck in tummy*
I manage to squeeze myself onto the bus was thinking that since so packed the driver will not allow anymore ppl to board but at the nest stop he open the front door n this irritating, big sized auntie jus squeeze in with half her body dangling outside the door n after the passengers alight there was still no movement thus that auntie was straed at the door.. At this pt the driver attempt to close the front door n move on but as the auntie still there she kena hit *tot she will auto alight* but this auntie suddenly started scolding the driver for closing the door on her n the nezxt thing that happen is disatorous! This auntie then started screaming n shouting right behind me for ppl in the bus to move to the back *the bus is really very packed oredi*
After some screaming n shouting this auntie manage to squeeze onto the bus standing rite behind me *urgh* even after boarding the bus she still went on at the top of the voice
"i have to go to work.. not like these ppl off work liao.. so I die also must get on the bus.. these ppl also dunno how to move a bit (repeat 3x)"
Cant stand that auntie *urgh* after much jostling ard manage to sir down only to have a malay ah pek siot next to me with his overpowering smell *the kind of oil very strong dunno Indian or malays always use one*
Smell until I have also headache *I cant stand the smell not racist hor*
Finally reach home.. gonna drop from the bus liao.. Was waiting for the bus to stop then move as the bus very pack.. Then there's this women *early 20s* dunno rushing to hell or wat.. squeeze n push her way thru me towards the exit when it obvious that I'm exiting too *HELLO!!*
No sorry no excuse me!! wat has these ppl learn from their parents?? Wat happen to all their manners?? Don they even have primary education??
If this is how ppl behave then they r no diff from village or barbarians.. why bother to study so much n throw away or ignore or forget all manners?? Hate this kind of ppl if u dunno how to behave urself pls don come out n humiliate urself n b a nuiscense to pubilc! SO IRRITATING!!!!

Getting used

A few days have past since deardear have been discharged from the hospital.. Still have a lot to get use to esp now that I have been delegated the impt tasks of taking care of deardear… Have discuss with my sis n deardear that I will b staying at deardear place permanently till his able to go back to work.. Everyday is busy for me.. after work gotta rush back to buy dinner for deardear n during work have to call home to chk on him n chat with him to keep him company.. Also have to observe his wound.. the dressing.. medication.. Try my best to find things for him to do n keep himself entertain at home.. Thankfully deardear is quite independent.. He have been trying very hard to get used to getting on n off the bed to move ard himself.. go to the toilet himself.. Settle himself in a chair.. Yup! Although it’s a short time but deardear have been trying his best to do as much chores as he can by himself.. Yst Deardear was able to shower himself only that he still needs help to put on his clothes due to the wound on his knee.. Food have been a big prob too.. There was so much that he cant eat n his staple became bread.. Bread for breakfast.. Lunch.. Teatime.. Supper. *so poor thing* but no choice his still recovering n he really needs to take extra care.. Yst Kit drop by to visit Deardear too.. So kind n sweet of him to take the effort.. As Kit had hurt himself before too they had a good time chatting abt the injury.. The path to recovery.. The therapy.. the aftermath etc *thanks Kit*
But not so for some of his colleagues back at work.. Yes there r the few that msg to send their regards.. the few nice ones who visited him in the hospital n those that couldn’t make it to visit him in the hospital n wanted to come by to his place cos he discharged much earlier then expected *actually need to stay approx 7-14 days* and of cos the few stupid, irritating, brainless morons n idiots whom I wish that they nv ask abt deardear condition.. cos the next thing they can say is *sure downgrade one!*
Come on man! As if been injured is not bad enough n u have to have colleagues like this to further demoralize him! N of cos there r those that r totally heartless n don even ask at all *only know u when need help! Cheapskate!*
N theres the obvious officers who r "working" n "not working" those that come n care for their man n wants the best welfare for their man n there r the ones that act as if they care n do all the little action *all talk no actions suckers*
Btw today Deardear is also due for a physiotherapy session back at CGH n also he need to change the dressing of his wound.. So lucky Simon free to accompany him there *thanks simone*
Some good news after going back to CGH.. The doc have accessed the wound n said that the wound is recovering well.. Deardear did some therapy to excerise the muscles his injured leg
*according to the therapist* As the thigh muscle is a main muscle used for movement n the thigh bone is the main weight bearing bone so even after a short period of under utilization the muscle will "forget" its duties so its impt to train that muscle.. Now he has to do the exercise at home everyday but yst also saw some massive bruises behind his knees *panic* dunno good or bad.. His mum say is blood circulation.. Others say maybe blood clot due to the wound on the knee *worry*
Think if still persist must bring him back to the doc liao.. Maybe when he due to change the dressing again can ask the doc then.. Cant wait for his stitches to be removed on the 10th *pray*
For the past few days have being searching thru the internet trying to find more information on the surgery.. post surgery care n therapy needed for a speedy recovery.. Lucky thing is so long as he don have to carry heavy stuff he shd b able to resume all regular activities upon recovery that will take 6-12 weeks.. To b able to regain full use of the leg n regain full mobility will take abt 1 yr or so.. Am trying my best to keep his spirits up so planning a lot of events to make him feel better n less depressed n boring.. Trying to help find some mahjong kakis this fri to accompany him *anybody?*
Then after he remove stitches maybe can organize some picnics to let him enjoy some sun.. Better then coping up at home everyday.. Was thinking of movies too.. But most of the cinemas need to climb stairs *haiz*
Wat to do ? Wat to do?
*God Bless my Deardear with a speedy recovery*

Peace of Mind

*breathe a sigh of relief*
Finally my bf can get discharged.. Althought he still have to go back very offend for follow up.. therapy n x-ray but being well enough to go home is a hugh relief for me.. Hv being running from work to hospital since wed.. to n fro everyday.. so worried cos his surgery is no simple one..
His thigh bone have broke into 2 pcs n the doc had cut a approx 15cm cut near his hips to insert the metal plates n another 8cm cut near his knee *ouch*
So he really have difficulty moving ard.. Now he have to move ard using the clutches.. N that will prob last for another few mths.. A very very big consolation is that the doc have confirmed that his injury will not affect his job so long as he don have to b carrying heavy stuff then no big issue.. He shd b able to go back to work as normal upon recovery *Thanks God for ur Blessing*
Also wanna thanks Doris n Jeanie for coming by to visit Raymond.. Thanks for ur kind thoughts n care during this period *hugx n kisses*
*Dear God, pls bless my deardear on a speedy recovery*